Stop settling for second best and what you can do about it

Stop settling for second best and what you can do about it

“OPTIMISM IS THE FAITH THAT LEADS TO ACHIEVEMENT. NOTHING CAN BE DONE WITHOUT HOPE AND CONFIDENCE”
– Helen Keller

Maybe it was the Blue moon, or maybe it’s just human nature. But lately I hear and see a lot of ‘settling’ for second best, second choice, and being okay with not achieving your dreams.

Now I don’t want to sound like a hypocrite if you read my “8 Signs you should quit. Without feeling like a failure!”. This post is not contradictory, it is for those who know deep down in their heart that quitting is not an option because what they are dreaming of, what they are chasing, is truly what they want.

So the question is what do you really want?

I think we’ve all came second, or last before. Or we’ve been OK with not getting what we want, I mean we were raised to be grateful right? in which we are. But what about when it comes down to chasing your dreams, those ones that you have a burning desire for deep inside your heart. A fire that wont blow out, it’s what you live for, it’s what your heart wants, and you’ve wanted to achieve it for as long as you can remember?

Short story time.

Back in 2012 when I competed in my fitness modeling comp. I set out to win. My motive for competing was no other than to be in the best shape and be the best. I didn’t want to come second I wanted to win. As we do. I’d prepped 16 weeks, ate endless amounts of broccoli and asparagus, ran for 45 minutes almost every second day, did 5 sets of 25 squats at the gym twice a week. Missing family dinners and friends birthdays, but all because I wanted the end result bad enough that nothing else mattered. It wasn’t just any goal, it was my goal. It may seem silly to some, but to me it was my life at the time.

When I did my first show, I received two second places. I was smiling on the outside but devastated on the inside, especially because they were two different categories (bikini model, and fitness model) and the same girl came first, and I came second in both. We were very confused what the judges wanted. So I had lost my confidence and when I went into the next show the following week, I ended up coming third. Shattered, again. My heart sunk. but I knew it was coming, it was like I manifested anything but first because I believed I wasn’t good enough.

It was time to slap myself in the face and truly believe in myself.

The following weekend there was another competition which I had not entered. My confidence has been shattered that I didn’t achieved my goals. I wasn’t going to enter the competition, but 3 days before I thought I may as well.

I went into the competition to have fun, but I knew I had done everything that week that I could to win. I looked around at the other girls, and thought “Holy shit look at their abs and their legs are so much smaller than mine” But then I re-thought, ‘No Bianca, you got this, you have nothing to lose but everything to gain, go out there and show everyone why you deserve first place.”

Now i’m just sounding like a full self-motivating junkie. But seriously in that moment it was now or never, and it all paid off. I won first place. Not second, not third, but first. What I had craved, worked for, and desired for 20 long weeks, was finally in my hands. I truly believe that it was all in my confidence and self-belief that won me that title.

Oompa loompa doopity doo, I know that I look like one of those dudesss… I bet you just sang that to yourself.

Bianca Romeo ANB Fitness Model Competition First Place

But now you’re probably thinking how can I do that? How can I believe in myself when I don’t? How can I achieve my goals when I haven’t for so long that I’m not sure that I can anymore?

Let’s start here.

“IF YOU WANT TO REALLY BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO YOUR HEART ABOUT THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BE. DON’T BE SEDUCED BY THE CHOICES THAT WILL IMPRESS YOUR FAMILY, THE MATE YOU WENT TO SCHOOL WITH OR THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE NEXT DOOR; THINK ABOUT WHAT IS INNATELY AND UNIQUELY YOU. THEN BE THAT PERSON.”
– Kate James

 

8 VITAL STEPS FOR BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

1. Is your goal clear? – Get to the nitty gritty details of what you really want. Specifics, because if you don’t know what you want, you’re never going to get it.

2. Set a date. “A goal remains a dream until you put a deadline on it.” – The longest you’ll ever wait is for tomorrow.

3. I want you to think about if you have already achieved this goal. What would you be doing differently to what you are now? and what are those that you can start doing now and do it.

4. If you were the best in the world at what you do, how would you behave? – Start behaving that way.

5. Develop a winning mindset from audiobooks, read books, finding a mentor, surrounding yourself with people who are going to motivate and inspire you and truly want the best for you every freakin day. Do not let any ounce of doubt slip past your negative bullshit filter.

6. Please remember that you define your age. You age does not define what you can or cannot do.

7. Winners can sometimes win from luck. But champions will always win because they believed that they could. Do you want to play your cards with luck? or would you rather be sure of it?

8. Every day, keep a journal of what you did to get closer to your goal. Because you’re either moving towards it or you’re moving away from it. For example, if “Fit into my size 8 jeans and feel healthy everyday.” was your goal and you drank 2L of water, moved your body for 30 minutes and ate lots of vegetables, then give yourself a big tick for moving forwards. But if you didn’t move at all and ate McDonalds, then you can be sure to note that was not moving forwards.

Woman-beach-arm-up


Now throw your hands up in the air like her. If you feel awkward or silly then that is more of a reason to do it. Now get use to that feeling of doing something completely different, because there is no comfort in the growth zone, but there is also no growth in the comfort zone.

But most of all, remember this.

“IF YOU LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE IN LIFE, YOU’LL ALWAYS HAVE MORE. IF YOU LOOK AT WHAT YOU DON’T, YOU’LL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH.”
– Oprah Winfrey

 

Dream Big,

Bianca xx

 

I would love to hear from you,  please let me know in the comments below if you threw your hands up in the air and what it is you’re going to do to get you one step closer to achieving your dreams.

Are we connected on Social Media?

Instagram: @Biancaromeo

Facebook: /biancaromeocoaching 

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